SECOND CESAREAN BIRTH STORY

Finally I'm here to update after sooo long. Today is the first day of 2019 and my new year resolution for this blog is to document more moments. Ok, so let's get on with the post but before that a little back story.

On 2/4/2018, I used a test kit and a faint line came out. My period was only a few days late and I felt extreme fatigue. It was so bad. I suspected something and quickly asked Wan to get a test kit. I tested in the morning and I did not tell Wan the result immediately. I placed the test kit on his drawer. When he got back from work and saw the test kit, he was like, "BEE! WHAT'S THIS?? ARE YOU SERIOUS??"

After that episode, we bought another test kit to confirm.

On 23/4/2018, we decided to go see a gynae.

First trimester:

Within the first week I knew I was pregnant, Adam had HFMD. I was really hoping that I would not catch it from him. When I pregnant with Adam, I got HFMD from one of my students and it was horrible. So this time, I took great precaution. I was very careful and I sanitized like a crazy person. It took him almost two weeks to recover.

Two weeks after that, he had really high fever and I decided to bring him to see a doctor. Little did I know, he was actually breathless and needed immediate medical care. It broke my heart. I was so disappointed on myself, I have no words. I had to stay in the hospital with him and I had morning sickness and bad nausea. Wan was the sweetest. I blogged about it. 

Gynae told us that my placenta was low and we all hoped that there will be no complications and that it will move up in due time.

Second trimester:

Third week of Ramadhan, the start of my 13th week of pregnancy, I was diagnosed with appendicitis. The pain was excruciating. The whole journey was unbelievable. Read more about it here.

Third trimester:

I had really really bad backache to the extend that I couldn't stand. And when I did, I couldn't walk. My gynae confirmed that I had placenta previa major and had to go for elective cesarean. My placenta was blocking my cervix and she was concerned that I might bleed like I did with my previous delivery. I started taking iron syrup religiously ( As I'm slightly anemic, I started craving for small ice cubes and crushed ice like I did during my first pregnancy).

So, on 29/11/2018, we sent Adam over to my mother in law's place. We are so blessed to have strong family support. That night, I couldn't sleep. I made sure that the house was clean and ready for baby's arrival. 

The next day, 30/11/2018, we reached Thomson Medical at 6.15am. We registered and checked in.

I have to say that I was really nervous but more prepared than I was previously. I kept telling myself that I have been feeling all kinds of pain and I can do it. My scheduled cesarean was at 8.30am. They prepped me and pushed me to the waiting room. I vividly remember time there during my first cesarean back in 2014, I was a wreck. This time I was more comfortable and I even asked for extra blankets. Everything happened so fast.

I was wheeled in and the anesthetist kept talking and was super nice. She made me extra high cause I was a little scared. Wan came in and stayed by my side. I heard the gynae said in a loud voice, "Her placenta is very low!" I looked in her direction and saw her standing in a weird stance, looking down  and within seconds, the anesthetist and several other nurses surrounded her to assist her. Within minutes, baby was out. During the stitching process, I was a little high but I heard voices talking about their children's CCA in school and stuff like that. LOL.

The next thing I knew, I was being brought back to my ward and Wan was waiting for me.

This time round, we were told that all hospitals are working towards being breastfeeding friendly meaning they ensure that all babies room in with mummies at night. It was so tiring I'm not gonna lie.

Honestly, we were looking forward to sleep during the nights at the hospital but noooooooooooo, we had to care for baby even after the cesarean pain. WHYYYYYY. Wan had to give milk to Ilhan every time since I couldn't. They also encouraged cup feeding for the babies to avoid nipple confusion. On a brighter note, the nurses were really helpful and always on the ball. Thumbs up!

Cesarean usually needs three nights in the hospital but this time round I was given permission to be discharged after two nights as I was doing well. Yeay me! Alhamdulillah!

I think that's all for now. I don't know if I missed out anything. I can't believe I'm a mother of three beautiful boys and one overgrown boy. LOL.

Thank you for growing with me through my humble blog.

Counting days to the end of my confinement period,

Ja

I WONDER

As I look up at the sky
I start to wonder
If only it can speak
It will speak of things it has seen
Things that that are way beyond us

As I look up at the sky
I start to wonder
If it is the same sky
The same one when I cried for the first time
When I took my first step

As I look up at the sky
I start to wonder
The sky that greets us every morning
Plays dress up every single hour in different shades of colors
Different shades of wonderful

As I look up at the sky
I start to wonder
If only I could touch it
Thinking my life would be different
As I look up in awe of God's creation

29 WEEKS PREGNANCY UPDATE

I'm now in my third and last trimester of pregnancy. Third trimester always consists of sleepless nights, trips to the toilet at ungodly hours, your back threatening to fail you anytime, leg spasms and cramps in the middle of the night, nesting while driving your hubby crazy(actually everything in pregnancy drives Wan crazy), graduate as a non-stop complain master and many many more!

My previous most recent visit to the gynae was a glucose test visit. So as usual I had to drink(and keep it down) the glucose water. I'm not a fan of thick isotonic drinks and the glucose tasted worse than that(plus it's not chilled). I managed to finish it in 15 minutes( supposedly 5minutes and of course the uncle taking my blood test had to make noise LOL, sorry!) which was a big improvement from Adam's time when I took half an hour to finish.

Baby was doing fine, looking at us during the scan. The verdict was out. I had to go through cesarean section again this time round. Having gone through both before, I would want to go for normal delivery this time. The labor pain was crazy but it was nothing compared to aftermath of a Cesarean. The first time you have to walk after delivery, the care of the wound, weeks of no coughing, no sneezing, no laughing, no walking, no carrying of anything including baby and many many more.

Then again, whatever is safe and for baby and myself is always the best choice. And in this case, Cesarean section as my placenta is already covering my cervix.

Gynae told us to head straight to the hospital if there is any bleeding. Till then, I need to be careful and live like a queen. Kidding. No but really, I need to be really careful.

Adam has been so awesome. He talks to the baby, sings and helps out a lot. I'm blessed to have him and may he be the best that he can be.

Love,
Ja

AMARI HOTEL JOHOR BAHRU POOL EXCESS ROOM

Since they first opened, we were intrigued to stay at Amari Johor Bahru. Honestly, it's because of the awesome location. Thus in July(omg, it's already August), we made a short trip to Johor Bahru. We booked the pool access room. Omg, best decision ever.

Once we reached Komtar JBCC, just cross over using the traffic light and go up the escalator beside Morganfields restaurant. That's it. You will see the lift leading up to the lobby of Amari which is at the sixth floor. It is super convenient. The staff were efficient and friendly.

Most importantly, the carpet in the room was clean. Adam is highly allergic to dust, so everytime we stay in a hotel, we will definitely know if the room is clean or dirty. If the carpet and room is dusty and dirty, Adam will start having reactions within the first hour. He will have non stop phelgmy coughs and his eyes will be very watery. So it is really nice that he was totally fine this time. 

We went on a weekday so it seemed like it was our own private pool right at our doorstep. How awesome is that. So after we reached, we rested for abit and headed out to Komtar and City Square for dinner. Ok fine, not for dinner. For shopping. After our legs threatened to give way, we packed so much awesome food and headed back to our room. We just slacked the whole night. Truly, our kind of night.

The next morning of course we had to go for breakfast. I loved it. It had a similar vibe to the breakfast set up at Double Tree by Hilton. Baba drove in early to join us for breakfast.

And guess what, they had apam balik!! What!

Wan loved the live coffee station. He had three teh tariks!

After a hearty breakfast, we chilled by the pool before checking out.

Presenting my swollen face.

It was such a nice and relaxing short trip. We decided to come back again with baby next time InshaaAllah. And of course, we will definitely go for the pool access room again. No doubt.

Till the next staycay,

Ja

17 WEEKS PREGNANCY UPDATE

 It's getting too real now. The tummy is showing. Well, it always has but this time it's a baby. Mornings are still a little difficult sometimes. On good days, I can just get up, break out in a song and twirl my way out. Well, not literally but you get the idea. On bad days, I just wake up with a lump in my throat and my back threatening to fail me. Nevertheless, I'm just thankful that I am given a another chance at the baby game.

Adam has been nothing short of wonderful. He helped me alot around the house and of course he has his bad days too but they are managable. What did I do to deserve this ball of sunshine? Alhamdulillah.

Diet wise, I'm pretty much eating anything I want. I started this pregnancy at 47kg. Now I'm about 49kg. The last time I was this light was when I was 15. The past year, I lost 10kg because of all the medications and my health conditions. When I was out during raya visiting, almost everyone asked me about my now sunken face. Ya, well, I've been really unwell and specialists are suggesting its PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I battled with chronic hives everyday, bad acid reflux; I pukes everyday, palpitations (my heart rate would go up to 140bpm for nothing), anxiety and many other things. I used to go to sleep every night feeling scared that I won't wake up. Then I woke up feeling afraid of what's to come. It was horrible. I couldn't eat or do anything that makes me happy. I think I'm feeling better now with this pregnancy although they do creep op on me once in a while.

I told Wan I was so tired of being sick every single day and he told me to pray and think that Allah is washing away all my sins with every sickness that I had. That gave me strength and I forced myself to stay positive and be grateful no matter what. I have lots to thank for.

I don't know what's what but I'm hoping I will feel better over time. Does that even make sense? I'm hoping it does.

Praying and eating hard,
Ja

HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI 2018

As sad as we were that Ramadhan left us, we were looking forward to all the good food this raya.

So in the morning, we got ready and snapped some pictures before leaving the house.

I'm was in my sunglasses because my family was planning to take photos after Zohor so I had no makeup on, just lipstick.
Thus the attempt to hide my unsightly dark circles.

 I'm kinda proud of my family this year. We did not buy any new clothes at all and we reused what we have from the previous years. Alhamdulillah! We then headed over to my mum's place to inhale all the lontongs and kuihs. We were too hungry and busy eating that I forgot to snap a picture of the food. LOL. After the boys came back from Friday Prayers, we took photos. And we headed out right after.

My family went to Johor to visit my Grandma while Wan and myself headed over to his Auntie's place to visit his side of the family. The food was glorious as well!!!! But of course I was busying stuffing my face that I forgot to snap a picture.

It warms my heart to see how much this family has grown since I first met them eleven years ago.

After the chaos, we headed over to my MIL's place to pray and chill. After Isyak, my parents called and fetched. We headed over to my Auntie's place in Punggol. Once again, the food, OMG.

We returned home a little after 11pm and crashed right after washing up. 

I'm thankful for the health and happiness of the people I love. 

I'm thankful for all the smiles today.

I'm thankful to be able to spend Raya with my family.

I'm so thankful that I get to breathe another day to see everything around me.

And also the food of course.

Love,

Ja

SURPRISE ANNOUNCEMENT!

Something very very unexpected happened to me few days ago and that's the reason why I haven't been updating here. I'm still in shock. I will get to it in the next post. For this post, I have something exciting to share. I've been contemplating if I should share it or keep it a secret but I really want to document these moments of my life so I'm just gonna share.

WE ARE PREGNANT!

Thank you all for your continuous support and prayers. It means so much to me. I'm currently entering 14th week and this pregnancy hasn't been easy. I've had morning sickness and my really bad reflux came back. I couldn't eat and I've lost 5kg already. I'm now at 47kg!! I was at this weight when I was 15!! I have stayed in the hospital twice during this short duration, one was when Adam was admitted for Acute Wheezing Bronchitis and the other one, I just got back from. Will tell you more in the next post.

Initially I felt really tired and my appetite went down by so so much. That's when I suspected something. My period was late by about 3 days but that was not an issue because I did have irregular periods. But true enough. Alhamdulillah.

Actually when Adam was warded in Thomson Medical, I booked an appointment for myself with a gynae just a few levels down. When Adam was napping after his meds, we went down to get our first scan. I was so scared and nervous. I didn't know what to expect. I didn't want to put my hopes up so high and get them crushed just like they did with Khayr.

So I kept telling myself that it's ok and if anything happen, it was for the best. The gynae told us that baby was in good shape and recommended us to go for Oscar or Panorama scans because I had chromosomes issues with Khayr.

We went for Oscar last week and we have yet to receive the results. I'm praying the hardest that everything will be alright. In April, Adam and myself made a card for Wan's birthday. I couldn't post it then because it would give it away but now I can.

My beautiful family of five.

Wan, myself, Adam, Khayr and baby. I love them so so so much.

We are so happy and grateful that Allah is giving us another chance at having another bundle of joy.

On to the next Ramadhan post,
Ja

THAT SILVER LINING

ACUTE WHEEZING BRONCHITIS

It was barely a week after he was said to be free form HFMD. The scars from the many blisters on his legs were still present and the skin on his feet were still peeling. Adam had terrible flu on Wednesday(18 April 2018). I still sent him to school because I gave him Zrytec thinking it was just a common flu which he has all the time. The next day, after he came back from school, he started coughing. So started to give him Ventolin orally. His cough wasn't too bad. Keep in mind that Adam frequently has these kind of episodes so we always have medications on hand.

It was on Friday(20 April 2018) after he came back form school, his cough go really really bad. I even called his teacher to ask if he had eaten any cold things in school. by 3pm, he was started to feel feverish. I called Wan and told him that I don't feel good and I wanted to get Adam to see his Pediatrician there and then. Thank God my mum and dad were free so they sent me over to the hospital. We waited for about one and a half hour for our turn. The moment we went into the room, the PD said, "Adam, what's wrong? Still sick?"(She saw him for his HFMD episode so she was shocked that we were back so soon)

The moment she listened to Adam's lungs, she looked at me and asked, "What happened?" I asked her why because her face looked kinda pale. She said that his lungs were in bad condition and that he is very breathless. She pointed to his stomach and true enough he was taking breaths in aggressively. At that very moment, I wanted to slap myself so bad. What kind of a mother am I that i didn't even notice my son being so breathless. I wanted to cry but I told myself to be strong.

He was diagnosed with Acute Wheezing Bronchitis.

The PD quickly told us that he needs to be admitted and that we need to rush him to the nebulizer room that very second. We quickly got up and one nurse sprinted to the nebulizer room which was on the other side of the clinic. She got everything ready and left us with the treatment. My mum sat with Adam as I updated Wan and his family of Adam's condition.

After the nebulizer, he was still quite breathless. We were told to wait downstairs for admission. After settling the paperwork, we waited about 20 minutes for our room. By the time we got a bed, Adam's temperature had gone up to 39.5 degrees. The nurses in the ward started to rush out to get medication and put all other explanations on hold. They inserted meds through his butt and I kept sponging him.

By then Adam was really weak and he was breathing aggressively. He wasn't even responding to anything we say or do. He was just lying there looking very sick. I was really really scared. I felt helpless. Inside my head, I kept telling myself that this is just a phase and that I will get through it. I mentally prepared myself to spend the next few days at the hospital. My body wasn't in its best state, I wasn't feeling too good but I needed to what I needed to do. If that makes any sense.

Wan came later at night with all our things and necessities. My spirit lifted a little when I saw him. He has been with me for the last 11 years of my life and looking at him just comforts me at times like that. Cringy much?

Adam was on the nebulizer every 2 hourly and with some meds on the side. It was a pain to watch but he was such a trooper. I couldn't be more proud of him. He even got blood tests done and he just looked straight at the needle as the person squeezed his blood out into the tube.

"I'm so proud of you sayang."

"Why mama?"

"Because you have been so brave."

*smiles sheepishly*

They gave me a stretcher-like bed for me to sleep on but the hospital bed was too big and I was afraid he might fall off in the middle of the night. So I slept beside him on the bed. See that little space beside him? That was my space. As expected, I couldn't sleep. Nurses kept coming in every 2 hours to administer the nebulizer and every hour to check his temperature. Wan wasn't allowed to sleep with us so he was resting at the family lounge downstairs the whole time. He hasn't had enough sleep. He came back from work without any night's sleep the previous day. He was such a sweetheart the whole time. #blessed

On Saturday, many family members came to visit us. Thank you so much from the bottom of our hearts for loving Adam. We are so grateful for our families. They came and helped Adam laugh and smile.

Apart from nebulizers and meds, Adam also had to go through physiotherapy which was done by a doctor twice a day. The doctors were really nice and taught us how to do it too.

On Sunday, more family members came to visit. Adam was adapting and responding well to everything. All the nurses and doctors complimented on how well behaved he was. #proudmummymoment *beams and cries*

On Monday morning, we were hoping for good news but sadly, Adam was still wheezing and his left lung was still congested. We had to continue our stay. Adam was already telling us that he wanted to go home. My poor baby. By Monday night, his nebulizer was down to 4 hourly.

I told Wan that I had to get a proper night sleep. I started vomitting in the morning and my body started having hives since the second night. Wan told me to go home that night and that he will sleep with Adam. He has been sleeping upright every single night in the family lounge so I felt very very guilty. I hated my body for being so selfish at important times like that.

I went home at about 10pm that Monday night after settling Adam in. I literally changed and fell asleep. I didn't do anything else. I woke up super early the next day and arrive at the hospital at about 7.45am. I was so worried about Adam. The PD came and told us that Adam still has abit of wheezing but we can go home! She told us to continue nebulizer treatment at home every 4 hourly.

So can you imagine me at 4am trying to get the measurements of the saline and meds for the nebulizer right.
My eyes failed me every single time. LOL.

Anyway, we were so happy we got to go home. While we were at he hospital, I had them run allergy tests for Adam. Turns out, he was very allergic to dustmites. There were in the high and very high category. We had to continue allergy treatments once he stops the nebulizer.

Long story short, we went back for a review after 5 days and his wheezing was gone. We were told to stop the nebulizer and start allergy treatment; Allergy Immunotherapy. It was $180 every month till he turns about 5 years old. We wanted to go for a cheaper option so we asked to be transferred to a government hospital.

So as we all know, government hospital, it has been 2 weeks but we still haven't gotten a date to see the specialist yet. Argh. I hate how long the wait is. Had it been at our initial hospital, we would have already started the treatment. Another con for being a Stay At Home Mum. You always have to choose the cheaper option. I miss spending my money recklessly nevertheless I'm thankful that Adam is better now.

Although he still has flu everyday because our house still has blinds and sofa but how the hell can we avoid that?!

Spring cleaning every single dayyyyyyy.

Honestly I don't know if you guys like reading my rants but I love writing them because I get to read them again five years down the road. It's precious to me. Thank you for being here.

Love,
Ja