17 WEEKS PREGNANCY UPDATE

 It's getting too real now. The tummy is showing. Well, it always has but this time it's a baby. Mornings are still a little difficult sometimes. On good days, I can just get up, break out in a song and twirl my way out. Well, not literally but you get the idea. On bad days, I just wake up with a lump in my throat and my back threatening to fail me. Nevertheless, I'm just thankful that I am given a another chance at the baby game.

Adam has been nothing short of wonderful. He helped me alot around the house and of course he has his bad days too but they are managable. What did I do to deserve this ball of sunshine? Alhamdulillah.

Diet wise, I'm pretty much eating anything I want. I started this pregnancy at 47kg. Now I'm about 49kg. The last time I was this light was when I was 15. The past year, I lost 10kg because of all the medications and my health conditions. When I was out during raya visiting, almost everyone asked me about my now sunken face. Ya, well, I've been really unwell and specialists are suggesting its PTSD. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I battled with chronic hives everyday, bad acid reflux; I pukes everyday, palpitations (my heart rate would go up to 140bpm for nothing), anxiety and many other things. I used to go to sleep every night feeling scared that I won't wake up. Then I woke up feeling afraid of what's to come. It was horrible. I couldn't eat or do anything that makes me happy. I think I'm feeling better now with this pregnancy although they do creep op on me once in a while.

I told Wan I was so tired of being sick every single day and he told me to pray and think that Allah is washing away all my sins with every sickness that I had. That gave me strength and I forced myself to stay positive and be grateful no matter what. I have lots to thank for.

I don't know what's what but I'm hoping I will feel better over time. Does that even make sense? I'm hoping it does.

Praying and eating hard,
Ja